As you prepare for your Big Campus Adventure, packing up all that computer and iPhone technology and other creature comforts, The Professor is busy slapping together her syllabus for and getting it online for students who are not likely to read it--ever.
That is an exaggeration, of course; some will read it and then jump online and transfer out of The Professor's class.
Not really; The Professor's classes fill okay, and most young people will remain, though some eventually wished they hadn't.
The syllabus, an interesting college document requiring on your part a careful deconstruction, is, in many ways, a vital key to your college life. You must pay special attention to your syllabi; to ignore them could send you spiraling home and dropping out of college, possibly within the first five weeks (a time of great peril for college freshmen).
The Syllabus is not a cookie cutter document; each prof has his/her unique style, but they all seem to have one characteristic in common: a very loud bark and a stern tone, the shalt nots the must dos.
Be careful here; while most profs eventually back off a bit, many do not, and you will not know who is likely to be the pussycat or the panther, not until you are well into the semester, though you might find some tidbits on Rate My Professors.
The Professor is going to give you a quick overview of the likely syllabi you will encounter during your first week:
1. The non-syllabus. This prof will blow it off, insisting that his policies and assignments will become clear as the semester progresses and that the syllabus will be forthcoming. Right! The only clear avenue for you: DITCH THIS CLASS and find a prof who distributes a syllabus. Leaving your first class without a syllabus or a link to one indicates that the prof is an arrogant so-and-so tenured professor who cares little about your class.
2. The one- or two-page syllabus. This document will offer you the bare minimum, so be prepared to ask lots of questions. The basic information will be in this document, but it may be missing point counts and percentages. It may also be deceptively easy; a short syllabus does not necessarily mean an easy class. The jury is out on this prof; some profs simply approach life in a terse manner.
3. The four- to ten-page syllabus. This document will probably contain most of what you need and shows that the prof has put some thought into the course. A well-prepared prof will help you navigate the course better. You'll probably be okay with this prof.
4. The Legal Book. This prof tends to go overboard and spells out everything. He/she attempts to cover every contingency: objectives, methods, grading protocols and policies, policies on plagiarism, behavior, writing competency, etc. This syllabus will be difficult to circumvent, so read carefully. In this document, the prof works hard at covering his/her a**, so you had better pay close attention to this one.
Actually, it is in your best interest to read all your syllabi with a discerning eye; make sure you understand every due and test date and every assignment direction, and if something is not clear, ask questions. If you feel intimidated, e-mail your prof (in a respectful, formal manner, of course).
Worst case scenario if you fail to read the syllabus: you could inadvertently miss a test or assignment, and The Professor must tell you: "I forgot" has to be one of the lamest excuses ever, and you will be pegged as a "DUHster" (Ms. Snark will define this word later, though you probably already have the right idea).
Best case scenario if you fail to read the syllabus: You will look like a complete doofus if you raise your hand in class and ask a question that has been clearly covered in the syllabus; your peers will have you pegged as a complete moron who wastes class time on stupid questions (yes, Malcolm, contrary to popular belief, there are stupid questions), and your prof will roll her eyes and sigh wearily.
Not good. You will be wanting to cultivate that positive mask for class time and meetings with your prof, not tripping over your silly freshman tongue.
TIP: The Professor admits that she's a sucker for suck ups, even when in her heart she knows that it is high performance and totally insincere.
But that is okay; she understands the academic game.
Until next time,
The Professor.
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