As summer draws to an end, leaving us in mourning over summer's imminent demise and our never-ending Mai-Tai indulgences, The Professor & Ms. Snark have resorted to compulsive web surfing and have stumbled upon a most a most amusing web page about ID's on the web and how the U.S.P.S. might play a role in developing an addressing system through the use of domain names used as addys for both the virtual and physical delivery of the mail.
Seems a bit far-fetched, but as young people, you should keep your eyes and ears open for outrageous ideas that could end up making you fabulously rich. The Professor fears that too many young people lack basic writing skills, but, alas, that doesn't seem to stop some of them from making their vast fortunes.
Hardly seems fair, but there it is.
Mournfully yours,
The Professor
Friday, July 27, 2007
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Sipping a Rather Large Mai Tai in Hawaii
Ah, the academic life.
While all you future freshmen are working your rear ends off for five years of college bills, The Professor is kicking back her feet on a lovely beach in Oahu and sipping something red and highly alcoholic.
Someone once asked The Professor, "Why do you continue teaching?"
Her short answer: "May, June, July, and August." The money stinks, but, what the hey, time is valuable too.
I, on the other hand, am spending the summer pursuing some important and quite possibly lucrative business ventures.
Ms. Snark
While all you future freshmen are working your rear ends off for five years of college bills, The Professor is kicking back her feet on a lovely beach in Oahu and sipping something red and highly alcoholic.
Someone once asked The Professor, "Why do you continue teaching?"
Her short answer: "May, June, July, and August." The money stinks, but, what the hey, time is valuable too.
I, on the other hand, am spending the summer pursuing some important and quite possibly lucrative business ventures.
Ms. Snark
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
The Professor’s Anxiety Dream
My dear freshmen,
-
You think you have cornered the market on school anxiety?
-
The Professor may have been teaching for over 15 years, but when July rolls around, she had better be somewhat prepared for the semester.
-
Otherwise, she has The Dream:
-
A humungous tree, one of those thick gnarled trees that have been around at least 1,000 years, grows in the middle of The Professor’s classroom.
-
Hundreds of students, giggling and pointing to The Professor, pour into the room and hide behind the tree.
-
The professor is not wearing a top. In fact, it slowly dawns on her that she is not wearing a bottom, either.
-
She tries covering her nakedness with her hands but then gives up. After all, there are situations worse than standing naked in front of hundreds of college freshmen, right?
-
(Well, not really, but what can she do but roll with the situation?)
-
The Naked Professor looks over her roster—exactly 1,000 students listed for her Writing 101 class.
-
“How could they do this to me?” she laments, breaking into a cold sweat, rivulets rolling into no-longer secret places.
-
What’s more, The Professor has no syllabus to distribute and can’t remember what was supposed to be on it.
-
Her mind is a complete blank—except for the fact that she is totally naked in front of 1,000 sneering freshmen and at least 15 pounds heavier after a bacchanalian summer of food and drink.
-
Then she takes another look at her roster: not Writing 101 but Physics 475, a senior seminar having to do Quantum Physics—a field literally a million miles away from her field of expertise.
-
Her heart races and—
-
And she wakes up.
-
She vows to get cracking on that syllabus ASAP.
-
Your professors also experience first-day anxiety. After all, you represent the vast unknown; profs have no control who enroll in their classes—
-
Einstein or Jack the Ripper?
-
Ultimately, most of you will fall somewhere in between.
-
And that is what keeps us here and sane.
-
You think you have cornered the market on school anxiety?
-
The Professor may have been teaching for over 15 years, but when July rolls around, she had better be somewhat prepared for the semester.
-
Otherwise, she has The Dream:
-
A humungous tree, one of those thick gnarled trees that have been around at least 1,000 years, grows in the middle of The Professor’s classroom.
-
Hundreds of students, giggling and pointing to The Professor, pour into the room and hide behind the tree.
-
The professor is not wearing a top. In fact, it slowly dawns on her that she is not wearing a bottom, either.
-
She tries covering her nakedness with her hands but then gives up. After all, there are situations worse than standing naked in front of hundreds of college freshmen, right?
-
(Well, not really, but what can she do but roll with the situation?)
-
The Naked Professor looks over her roster—exactly 1,000 students listed for her Writing 101 class.
-
“How could they do this to me?” she laments, breaking into a cold sweat, rivulets rolling into no-longer secret places.
-
What’s more, The Professor has no syllabus to distribute and can’t remember what was supposed to be on it.
-
Her mind is a complete blank—except for the fact that she is totally naked in front of 1,000 sneering freshmen and at least 15 pounds heavier after a bacchanalian summer of food and drink.
-
Then she takes another look at her roster: not Writing 101 but Physics 475, a senior seminar having to do Quantum Physics—a field literally a million miles away from her field of expertise.
-
Her heart races and—
-
And she wakes up.
-
She vows to get cracking on that syllabus ASAP.
-
Your professors also experience first-day anxiety. After all, you represent the vast unknown; profs have no control who enroll in their classes—
-
Einstein or Jack the Ripper?
-
Ultimately, most of you will fall somewhere in between.
-
And that is what keeps us here and sane.
-
The Professor
The Professor
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